Lois Lane - Friends Indeed - Grant McLaughlin

Lois Lane was the first character I wrote a Thought Balloons script for as a play-at-homer - a script I'm still quite fond of - so I wanted to take another crack at writing her this week.  I'll leave it to you to decide whether I made the right decision.

1 - Clark is preparing some food in the kitchen.  Let's say he's checking on the oven, with the counters filled with all kinds of finished or in progress foodstuffs.  Also important to note that Clark should be wearing a dorky apron of some variety - perhaps a [insert suggestion here].  Clark is checking the oven, but he looks towards the doorway with some concern as he calls out to Lois.

CLARK (1): Lois, could you whip up some of your Peachy Keen Margaritas for Bruce and Diana tonight?

CLARK (2): Lois?

2 - Move to the living room.  Lois is sitting on a couch, being sad - maybe with her feet up on the couch, holding her legs to her body.  Clark looks out through the kitchen doorway into the room.

CLARK: Is everything alright?

LOIS: No.

3 - Clark has joined Lois on the couch, his arm around her.  She rests her head on his shoulder, still a little upset.  He wears a look of concern, resting his head on hers in turn.

LOIS (1): I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.  I've covered some of the most important world events of our generation.  I'll go to any length to get a story.

LOIS (2): ...

LOIS (3): But for all that, I don't have any of my own friends.

4 - Clark sits up straighter and looks directly at Lois, surprised.  Lois, also sitting up and looking at Clark, is resistant to his words.

CLARK: What?  That's ridiculous.  You have plenty of friends!

LOIS: We're having Batman and Wonder Woman over for dinner.  Pretty sure they're not here to see mild mannered Lois Lane.

5 - Clark takes Lois' hands in his own and looks kindly and earnestly into her eyes.

CLARK (1): Lois.  Honey.

CLARK (2): They may have met me first.

6 - Flash forward to dinner that evening.  Lois, Bruce, and Diana laugh heartily at some joke that Lois obviously told them (all holding a peach coloured drink in their hands).  Clark is slightly apart, clearing the table after whichever course they've just finished, a small, satisfied smile on his face.

CAPTION (CLARK): But we both know they like you better.

Krypto the Superdog – “Lex Luthor’s Vat Tuesday!” – MK Stangeland Jr.

(For the best effect, imagine this page as if it was done in a classic Silver Age art style.)

(9 Panels)

Panel 1: SUPERMAN is in the bottom of an empty chemical vat. He looks weakened from the effects of an unseen source of Kryptonite. LEX LUTHOR stands on a walkway overhead, looking as sinister as possible as he laughs in an evil fashion over the expected demise of his arch-nemesis.

TEXT BOX: Meanwhile, SUPERMAN has found himself trapped by Lex Luthor’s latest scheme!

LEX LUTHOR: Muah ha ha, Superman! This vat used to hold liquid Kryptonite! Soon, it shall also hold your dead body!

Panel 2: Panel of a weakened SUPERMAN inside the vat. He looks like he’s struggling. A music note comes from his mouth.

SUPERMAN: (Thought Balloon) He’s right! Power…failing…only hope…my super-whistling power…to call for help!

Panel 3: KRYPTO, flying through the sky, has a turned head as he reacts to the sound of SUPERMAN’s SUPER-WHISTLE.

TEXT BOX: Meanwhile, over the skies of Metropolis...

KRYPTO: ?

Panel 4: KRYPTO is seen flying towards the DAILY PLANET.

TEXT BOX: Hearing his master’s plea for help, KRYPTO the SUPERDOG flies to get assistance!

Panel 5: KRYPTO lands in front of LOIS LANE and JIMMY OLSON. KRYPTO barks to let them know that SUPERMAN is in trouble.

JIMMY OLSON: It’s Superman’s dog, Krypto!

KRYPTO: Woof woof! Arf arf!

LOIS LANE: What’s that boy? Superman’s in trouble?

JIMMY OLSON: And he needs our help! Let’s go!

Panel 6: Back inside the location with LEX LUTHOR and SUPERMAN. KRYPTO bursts through the ceiling.

SFX: Bam!

KRYPTO: BARK!

LEX LUTHOR (1): Krypto!

LEX LUTHOR (2): You mangy mutt! Soon you’ll suffer the same fate of your owner!

Panel 7: LOIS LANE and JIMMY OLSON are at a control panel.

TEXT BOX: While Krypto keeps Lex Luthor busy, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olson free Superman!

JIMMY OLSON: We need to get Superman out of that chemical vat!

LOIS LANE: I think this should do it!

Panel 8: The chemical vat holding SUPERMAN flips on its side, allowing SUPERMAN to roll out.

SFX: Thunk!

LOIS LANE & JIMMY OLSON: SUPERMAN!

Panel 9: LOIS LANE is kneeling on the ground next to SUPERMAN, while JIMMY OLSON stands next to both of them.

SUPERMAN (1): Thank you, Lois and Jimmy! I can feel my strength returning already!

SUPERMAN (2): Now I need to help Krypto and stop Lex Luthor!

(END PAGE)

Lois Lane - Lives of Heroes - Danial Carroll

PAGE ONE (eight panels)

PANEL 1. A talkshow host sits at a desk within a typical studio set. He is holding his arm out to the stage entrance.

HOST:

Ok, guys, our next guest has just released a book titled, Lives of Heroes.

HOST:

Please give a warm welcome to, Lois Lane, everybody.

CAPTION:

I never really expected this.

PANEL 2. Lois is walking in from off-stage, waving to the unseen crowd. She is smiling exaltedly.

CAPTION:

Celebrity.

SFX:

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

PANEL 3. Close up on Lois' book, being stood up on the desk by the host's hand.

CAPTION:

It's a far cry from journalism.

HOST:

So your new book, Lives of Heroes--why don't you tell us a bit about it?

PANEL 4. Lois is sitting on a chair opposite the host.

CAPTION:

And the attention can be distracting.

LOIS:

Well, everyone is aware of what a great job our city's superheroes do of keeping us safe--

PANEL 5. Close up of Lois, holding her hand up in absent gesture.

CAPTION:

Blinding.

LOIS:

But I wanted to show that behind the masks and costumes, they're not that different from you or I.

PANEL 6. Close up of host.

CAPTION:

The journalist in me should have seen it.

HOST:

I understand that Superman played a large part in arranging many of the interviews--particularly with those of the Justice League.

PANEL 7. Another wider view of both the host and Lois.

LOIS:

Absolutely. He was more than happy to help as always.

LOIS:

In fact, I'd dare say that without his assistance, this book may never have seen the light of day.

PANEL 8. Close up of Lois, looking suddenly thoughtful.

LOIS:

I owe him much more than I could ever repay.

CAPTION:

The truth.

Lois Lane - Beyond Metropolis - Matt Duarte

Lois Lane in “Beyond Metropolis” by Matt Duarte

Five panels, all wide and long across the page.

Panel 1

Description: Lois Lane is standing against a wall in an alley, surrounded by three menacing looking men, carrying baseball bats. These thugs are posturing dangerously and approaching her. Despite the fact that she is clear and eminent danger, Lois remains calm, with a smirk on her face.

THUG #1: Boss said you were sniffing around the offices, so we gotta send a message.

THUG #2: Yeah, that being a reporter in this city is bad for your health!

LOIS LANE: Now, gentlemen, that’s no way to talk to a lady, is it? Threats will get you nowhere, besides...

Panel 2

Description: The men are closer to Lois now. Behind them, in the shadows, a man with a wide chest and a flowing cape behind him has appeared. His face is obscured in the dark alley, so we can’t see who it is (but you can probably guess).

LOIS LANE: I already uploaded all the incriminating files to the Gazette’s servers, it will be on the first page tomorrow.

LOIS LANE: And more importantly, my boyfriend is here...

Panel 3

Description: Dark panel with only SFX in it.

SFX: CRACK!

SFX: THUMP!

SFX: BAM!

Panel 4

Description: The three thugs are laying down on the floor, unconscious. Lois is now approaching her boyfriend, who still covered in the shadows, glad to see him there.

LOIS LANE: What took you so long? I sent the signal ten minutes ago...

BOYFRIEND: Sorry, I was on the other side of the city.

Panel 5

Description: Lois Lane is now embracing Batman (?!). They both have smiles on their faces, as if they were about to kiss.

LOIS LANE: You didn’t give that odious Vale woman any news to cover, did you?

BATMAN: You know I save all my best exclusives for you.

Next: What the heck is going on here?

Lois Lane - Pressure Creates Diamonds - Ryan K Lindsay

Set up - in this issue (of Lois' own book, hell it might even be the debut) Lois was in line at a Gotham City bank when robbers locked it down and busted a few heads. After Lois spends a fair amount of time just sitting against the wall and watching, she opens her mouth one too many times and gets dragged away from everyone else. This is where we find her.

1. Lois is tied up, hands behind her wrists, on the floor of a bank manager’s office. Her eyes look around her.

2. A man is dumped on the ground in the office, not next to her, a metre or two away. It is Bruce Wayne, he’s been roughed up some.

3. Bruce Wayne sits up.

Lois: What are the odds you would be here?

Bruce: I think pretty good if you really think about it?

4. Lois sits up.

Lois: You know who these guys are?

Bruce: I don’t know them personally but I know what they’re like, yeah.

Lois: Bad people?

Bruce: The worst. They’re not here for the money, they’re here for the violence. They want an excuse, then we’re all dead. They’ll escape, no money moved, fatalities total.

5. Lois is standing, shrugging off the ropes that bound her.

Bruce: …

Bruce: Didn’t you write a story about them in Metropolis?

6. Lois is looking through the blinds on the internal office window, she's casual.

Lois: Even gave them their name.

7. Lois is walking out the door.

Bruce: You know who they are and you knew they’d be here.

Lois: I had a hunch.

Lois: You just sit tight, Mr Wayne.

Lois: I’ve got a story to research.

From here, of course, we get to see Lois at her absolute best, with no hint of Superman, and Bruce Wayne stays in his playboy persona to hilarious, and sometimes helpful, effect. The title, of course, gives away what the robbers are really after.

Lois Lane - The Last Superman Story - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Lois sits at her desk in the Daily Planet, late at night. She’s typing up a story on her computer. Her heart is breaking.

TEXT: This is the last Superman story I will ever write. Just typing those words causes me more pain than you could ever imagine…

Panel Two.

On a rooftop high above the city, Superman clutches his chest in agony and falls to his knees.

TEXT: …but not as much pain as I know it will cause Metropolis’s greatest hero.

Panel Three.

Close on Superman’s chest.

TEXT: There are teeny, tiny machines – nanobots, they call them – swimming around inside my bloodstream. The technology is beyond me – I've asked our science editor to provide a sidebar. All I understand is that I’ve been infected, and so has the Man of Steel.

Panel Four.

The same image, but this time in X-Ray so that we can see through Superman’s costume and into his body. We can see the heart beating in his chest. It is being attacked by a swarm of tiny machines, glowing green. Kryptonite powered nanobots.

TEXT: We have been told that any attempts to remove them will likely kill us. However, they will remain benign and cause us no further harm so long as I don’t ever type a certain combination of letters again.

Panel Five.

Out of X-ray. Now Superman has collapsed completely on the rooftop. He’s curled up in agony.

TEXT: Those letters are S-U-P-E-R-M-A-N…

TEXT: And that is the last time I will ever write them.

Panel Six.

Back to Lois, lit by the light from her computer screen, a look of steely determination has replaced the sadness.

TEXT: From now on, for the good of the entire world, I will dedicate my life instead to concentrating on an entirely different combination of letters.

Panel Seven.

Close on Lois’s computer screen. It reads…

L-E-X L-U-T-H-O-R.

TEXT: Be warned: what I write will not be pretty.

Lois Lane – Write What You Know - Ben Rosenthal

The following takes place at a time before Lois and Clark were married, or even dating.

1. A high view of Lois Lane sitting at a coffee shop. In front of her is her notepad. She is looking out of the window, deep in thought.

LOIS (Caption)

The pen is mightier than the sword.

2. A closer panel, with Lois putting her pen to paper. She looks unsure of herself.

LOIS (Caption)

In a world of super men and women, that’s easy to forget.

3. Lois has the pen in hand, hovering above the page, hesitant.

LOIS (Caption)

My name is Lois Lane, and I am a reporter for the Daily Planet. I can’t fire lasers from my eyes. I don’t have a fancy car for fighting crime, and I definitely can’t talk to fish.

4. Lois is writing in her notebook, her mind made up.

LOIS (Caption)

I can do something much more powerful. I research, discover...

5. The bottom of the note page reads “Clark Kent is Superman.”

LOIS (Caption)

...and write.

Lois Lane - Corporate Battlefield - Sime McDonald

Page 22

(or Page 20, since this is DC…)

PANEL 1

Lois Lane is sprawled on top of Lex Luthor in his LexCorp office. It’s not what it looks like. Lois has just tackled Lex to the ground, a nanosecond before a projectile shattered the window. Shards of glass are splayed around them.

LEX LUTHOR

I’ve always dreamed of this.

PANEL 2

Lois is standing, flashing Lex a look, still on the ground, looking up with a satisfied grin on his face.

LOIS LANE

Shut up, Lex.

We’ve got to get out of here.

You’re in danger.

PANEL 3

Lex is still smiling as Lois heaves him to his feet, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket.

LEX LUTHOR

When am I not?

PANEL 4

Lois still has a handful of Lex’s jacket; she’s pulling him towards the door, out of the office, out of the line of sight of their attacker.

LOIS LANE

This isn’t a hostile takeover like you’ve ever faced before, Lex.

PANEL 5

Focus on the projectile that’s lodged itself in the wall opposite the window. It’s a Batarang.

CAPTION

(LOIS LANE)

This is Batman Inc.

Next: Corporate Espionage!

Why Lois Lane?

Why Lois Lane?

Because she's Superman's wife!

And also because she's so much more than that.

Lois Lane is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist for the Daily Planet. She is the daughter of General Sam Lane and has thusly been trained in various hand-to-hand combat techniques and is a similarly adequate marksman. She's taken on some of DC Comics' most nefarious villains and has come out on top on more than once occasion without her husband's help.

Her marriage to Clark Kent - to Superman - is merely one facet of her character; and sometimes, unfortunately, unnecessarily, that marriage overshadows everything else. So that's why, this week here at Thoughtballoons, I am challenging our writers - the tenures and our play-at-home participants - to help Lois reach her potential. She's a tough-as-nails reporter who stands for Truth, Justice and the American Way. I can't wait to see what we come up with.